Sundays

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Sunday: the alleged day of rest, but is usually spent recovering from binge drinking due to the fact that Monday shall come once again. I’m just as guilty. A few months ago, I gave up drinking, because I realized I was pouring alcohol into my emotional problems. Not a healthy relationship with the substance. And that’s on me. I don’t preach to anyone to stop drinking, I just cannot stop drinking once that first drop of liquor touches my lips. If only marijuana was legal, society would be much better, I feel. It’s not like we live in a sober society anyway, so this ‘war on drugs’ is completely arbitrary. No news there, but it’s obvious that a lot of people don’t want to be sober all the time, and they want to escape reality. Is it because alcohol keeps you dumb?

I really wish I could locate a job that I really want to go to every day. I’ve always had a soft spot for writing, but it’s quite a lofty dream to hope to make any money at that. I just got my hands on a desk for my computer, finally. Now i’m sitting much more comfortably and not having constant back pains. Before this, my computer was set up on the main television in the living room, and I was hunching over the keyboard on the floor, or – sometimes- an upturned laundry basket. Not good on the spine, especially one with preexisting problems.

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My search for a better, more meaningful life continues on and on. I spend my Sundays like most: regretting the fact of what tomorrow is. Another day meaningless day wasted being unhappy with where we are. How do people do the same career for 50 years in a row? Am I just wired differently? Or have I just not found that one thing? The idea of doing a job for that long sounds like an absolute nightmare. Even something you enjoy grows old if you do it for 50 years. When is it acceptable to take a chance and try something new?